4.23.2011

I heard the Easter Bunny likes fabric rosettes.





Happy Easter!  How many times have you threatened to call the Easter Bunny and tell him not to come to curb some sort of behavior? 3? 4? I'm going on 6 I think. I actually picked up my phone and made The Call  tonight while child #1 shrieked and flailed at my feet. Mr. Bunny said he would give her one more chance if she apologized to her brother. I'm pretty sure she spit on him when she said sorry. : )


I'm sad I won't be able to use this one until Christmas again... when I call the north pole. After tomorrow I'll just have to go with the "I'm going to throw your Easter candy in the garbage" threat.  That one works too.  What?  Your Easter doesn't look like this...?




That's sibling love there.


But on to the crafting.  Have you seen the fabric rosettes that are everywhere?  Here and here for example?  I decided to give it a shot.  I used hot glue because I'm impatient and want it dry immediately. Even if it means burning the crap out of my fingers.


I did a headband first.  I started with a cheapy one I got in the dollar section at Michael's and wrapped it with an old maternity shirt I cut up.  A scrap of felt and a "pearl" later, here ya go.




I made the next one into a pin and thought I'd let kid #1 add it to dresses or whatever she wanted.  But after this weekend, I'm not convinced she won't stab her brother. I might hold off on giving it to her. Specifically I had this dress in mind...




This is a Goodwill find... $3.50 for a lined Old Navy dress.  Thanks Goodwill. : )



Eh?  Maybe a couple more and down near the bottom hem?  But that might make the dress hang weird.  Good thing it's a pin.






I sewed some little do dads to the middle for some sparkle but I'm not convinced I love them.  The fabric is a sheet remnant from the duvet cover I sewed.


So shop Goodwill and don't be afraid to glue/sew some crap to what you find.  It's easier than you think to make ugly/smelly things look cute.


And if you're wondering why there is no model in any of these pictures, it's because kid #1 was in this mood most of the weekend....




Happy Easter!



4.21.2011

Tina Fey makes me OMG

A co-worker/friend sent me this article while at work.  I had to get up and find a tissue to keep from crying all over myself I was laughing so hard.  Here's where it came from, don't sue me.  Kaley, read this... whenever you learn to read.  And, thanks mom.


A Mother’s Prayer for Its Child By Tina Fey



First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,”she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.
Amen.”
-Tina Fey
(That my friends, is what you call good writing. Pick up Tina Fey’s bookBossypants for more.)

4.11.2011

In memory of my 20's

So confession: I'm not exactly 30 yet.  29 and 11+ months.  The big day is the 30th of April.  I'm saying goodbye to my carefree 20's this month (well, the beginning of my 20's were carefree... the husband and kids came along right in the middle there and "carefree" was quickly replaced with crying, diapers, work, poop, laundry, dishes... etc...) and hello to what?  What do you call the 30s? Thrilling? Thoughtful? Thrifty?  Just trying to come up with "T-H" words.  Anyway.

I'm excited to be taken more seriously... like a real adult. Yey me! But I'm also sad to be noticing the models from my favorite store seem to be getting younger and younger.  Hmmm.  They look like 16 year olds in sensible chic work wear (see below).  It's very odd. What 16 year old is wearing $250 worth of Ann Taylor in the real world?  I wouldn't want to stuff that in a locker when you have to change into your gym clothes.  It's probably dry clean only.  I'm sure they've always been this young.  I'm just not anymore... so I get to make fun of them now. Ha!


I clearly remember being a junior in high school at soccer practice one day (not wearing Ann Taylor) and another girl was singing a line from a song..."I still remember, when 30 was old"...  I remember thinking, "but 30 IS old".  And another time, I was about 22, and at a bar with a guy and 10 or so random people who were friends of friends of friends (why did I always travel in a flock back then?). One of the girls asked me if I was 30 because that's what she heard and I remember being so offended! "NO, I am not 30!" 


Now it's here. The day I thought I would be "old". Sure, I have a few wrinkles now (Can you believe I actually laid in a tanning booth back then?!), but I also have further confirmation that I indeed was young and stupid once.  30 is not old.

So, I'm excited to start a part of my life where I am still young and less of an idiot.  At the same time I get these little visions of myself getting older. They're not good.  I'm a little scared that I will slowly start to turn into a homely frumpy mom who's let herself go, puts her kids in pageants, and wears those horrible velor sweat pants in public.  All I'm missing down there is a scrunchie and a nice muffin top. See?  Bad, is't it?




My husband would argue that that will never happen, noting my obsession love for Ann Taylor Loft and the time I put into blow drying my hair. He's probably right. I'm powerless against the forces of LOFT sale items, they don't sell sweat pants, I hate pageants and I love make-up.


I guess I'm ready.  My mini skirt days might be over (thanks to the varicose veins my kids gave me) but they will be replaced with a nice chic pencil skirt (that I plan to sew)... not sweat pants.  Bring it on 30!

4.08.2011

It's a start


Soooo, I started my first quilt this week.  Here's what I have learned...

A. This is going to take forever.
B. It might have been cheaper to just buy a quilt.
C. Your rotary cutter gets dull eventually.
D. My iron is hot.
E. This is going to take forever.

Other than that, I'm excited about what I've done so far.  Stay tuned.  At this rate I might be done before Christmas.

4.05.2011

Citrus Pillowcase Skirt


I love this skirt. I think I would have loved anything made from this pillowcase.  It's about 40 years old it was my mother-in-law's back in the 70's and my husband inherited it when he moved out for college.  It's soft, it has that old linen closet smell (minus the mothballs), and it looks oh so vintage in it's worn yellowey citrus goodness.

So, what to do when you come across such a pillowcase?  Pillowcase dress naturally!  One rainy Monday, kid #1 went down for morning snooze and I decided to wing it with kid #2 awake. (Of course I didn't take any pictures... not to worry... my artistic genius is below to entertain you)  A quick glance at some tutorials and I was off.  After all, I only had 2 hours to take out sewing machine, set up, heat up iron, measure kid, etc.  Speed sewing... it could be a new sport.  She was coloring, I was quickly stitching and ironing away.

30 minutes later, I was done!  Woo hoo! (Time left over to pee by myself... I actually think about this.  Getting to pee minus an audience. Nice, isn't it? Never mind... getting off track)  I am awesome!  Kid jumping up and down stripping in the kitchen, ready to try on.  Here we go...


That pretty much sums it up.  It was awful.  It looked like a giant cube of butter was swallowing her face.  She actually cried when she looked in the mirror.  I think she was terrified I was actually going to make her wear it.  "Take it off, take it off!" I yelled as if the dress were on fire. Maybe I should have read the directions and actually followed them.

Determined to save the pillowcase dress disaster, I laid a skirt she already owned on top of the butter-cube-mess of a dress, aligning the bottom hems. I added two inches for the elastic casing at the top, cut, sewed the casing, and put the elastic in.  I think it took about 20 minutes total. Hem and side seams done already... thank you pillowcase.

Because my kid has an obsession with rocks and mulch, I asked her if she would like me to add rock/mulch pockets. She excitedly agreed.. it needed pockets... for acorns too.  I cut two small squares, and folded all of the sides in, and pressed.  Then I pinned in place and sewed a big "U" shape around them.

She also loves to go through my stash of buttons and asked if we could put a couple on.  After convincing her that it didn't need 14 different colored buttons, I sewed the two yellow ones on after she went to bed.

Done! Just perfect for a trip through the orange groves on a warm spring morning (though almost all of the oranges were picked clean).